Could this have been a useful arguement?

I think life sometimes gives us small hints. It's up to us to recognize them. I might just have.

Today was the day I started questioning whether I'm really that lucky to have a steady job that isn't really terrible, funny colleagues, rock music blasting all day long and the freedom to wear whatever I want. It pays well too. Then there is this friend who went from a good paying but boring job to a none-paying job but that job is taking care of horses and that's something she's passionate about. There's this other friend who couldn't find a job so she started her own translating business, which she loves and while she just started, it looks very promising already. My sister can't find a job either which allows her to look across the border and writing the book she always wanted.

I get up at 06:45, go to work, go home, make dinner, watch Top Chef, do some internet business and go to bed. Five days a week. Sure, I own my own flat and everything. But, as I questioned today, wouldn't it be fun to do something I'm actually passionate about?

Just as I was in that mood I got in a little arguement with my boss. We're three people in the office, I don't see him as my boss, but I suppose technically he is. I'm sure he makes loads more money than I do anyway. The arguement was about work. He thinks we should chase the things we need to do harder, I say, without being laid back (as he claims we are), we're running hard enough. Long story short, he believes we really should have our things done and ready and collected before 11am. Now, we were too late. He had a point. This arguement that we're too late with our things now, took place at 10:25am. This time announcement is the last thing I said to him.

I'm working at the same place for almost 4 years. Worse, I haven't changed jobs ever since I live in Amsterdam. I've changed jobs more often than I moved house. I moved about 8 times in my life. I've never been a steady person. I thought I found my place and I still believe that's true, I wouldn't want to move house. But a different job, something I'm passionate about...

Last Saturday at the Kaizers Orchestra show I tapped a photographer on his shoulder. I've seen him more often at shows so I asked for who he was taking pictures. Not only did we end up talking about great, smaller bands and what a pity it is bands change once they get HMH-big (like Kaiser Chiefs, they just weren't fun shooting anymore because they lost their spark in a big venue, aren't I saying that for years myself?), I recommended to him to shoot pictures of The Boxer Rebellion which he would as he liked the band and we started talking about the Cribs and how they'll never get their break-through in the Netherlands and why that is and why perhaps it's best that way. I alsi asked him how he got this job. He just started it and loved it. I don't know if he has a job on the side but right now, I'm quite jealous of him.

I'm not complaining about my job. It pays for the things that I do, for the roof over my head and makes sure I don't have to eat rice with butter every day (for instance). It makes sure I can go to gigs, make weekend trips to England, buy records, buy cameras, films and develop them as well, it feeds the pets. Guess I do miss some kind of spark. But is it worth losing security for?

The Queen of Effing Everything and her new Throne

I have a new office chair. We used to have a boss who sat in the room next door, he had this boss-chair, but doesn't work here since about two years and no one ever sits there any longer so, long story short, after asking me four times and me answering with 'are you mad?' for four times if I wanted that chair, my colleague rolled in this boss-chair which flops back if you want to. It's of course a shame to leave this chair un-seated but most of all I got it because I'm the Queen of Fucking Everything. Coffee mugs don't lie. That's how my crap office chair was replaced by this quite fancy one. I moaned, of course, it was too low (you can't set it higher) but the truth is, it's comfy. And uhm, maybe a little too comfy.

I have suddenly gained full understanding why bosses and managers aren't doing so much. It's not their fault. It's the chair! The chair is built to flop back, feet on the table and 'think'. It's built to sink back and 'think' about what strategy is best used in the current situation. The chair is built to... lie back and close your eyes and to feel yourself softly slide away into a nice nap.

Lock the back of the chair! Eyes wide open and go! I'm not a manager! I'm not a boss. I'm the Queen Of Fucking Everything. And need to do a little. Coffee and other drinks however are still being brought, as always.

Gras driving, forest friends and Corin Tucker

Three days into my working rhythm and I'm still not used to it. Work really needs getting used to, why can't people just take it slow and easy? Work is annoying. It always takes a while to get back into real life after a vacation but I what I really need to do is getting my act together when biking home. So far I managed to drive my bicycle into the gras every single day while I was telling myself what great music I got on my walkman. I either need to get over the fact the music is great or I should pay more attention to the road. Probably the last one.

Just before I went on vacation I noticed that the left top tile at the lady's toilets at work sort of looks like it has a Bob Ross painting on it. While looking at it I could see a forest with animals on that particular tile. Of course when you are tired you are able to see weird things so while thinking it was nice I thought I saw these things simply because I was tired. To my surprise and joy I noticed my forest friends hadn't left the tile. They are still there. The fox sitting in front of a tree which has a owl sitting in it. And there's also a bunny jumping at the right side of the tile. It's these small things that make life a little brighter or maybe I'm just a bit coockoo. I want these tiles in my own bathroom. I wish I had bought these rubber duck tile stickers now at one of Sweden's best stores, Lagerhaus.

Sometimes there are these album releases you just know must be great. Everyone tells you it's great and considering the artist and what this artist has done in the past it has a big, bright, neon THIS IS GOOD STUFF label on it (blinking of course). They ooze GOOD STUFF so much that you're actually scared to touch it, scared to be disappointed because you also read this album is not what you'd expect (but still good). Curiosity won at last and scared I put on this magical album, '1,000 years' by the Corin Tucker Band. In case you don't understand what the commotion is about, she's been in Sleater-Kinney. If that doesn't make you understand the commotion your musical interests differ from mine (but that's fine if you let me be). Still, being excited for an album just because of the name is a very big risk. Your expectations might be sky high, the music is more likely to disappoint you. There is a risk of not liking this artist so much anymore. I didn't want that to happen, even though I know Sleater-Kinney does not equal the Corin Tucker Band, I never expected that in the first place. Still, in a way you do want to like the album by this power woman.

So, I put that album on. After 10 seconds into that album I knew I was listening to something quite incredibly amazing. What a great rock album! I was thrown to many directions while listening (ditch included), she sings gracefully but powerful. The music is so 90s in the best possible way. Especially 'It's always summer' made me think of the band Kindred Spirit, and that band came up a lot of times (I love Kindred Spirit, they were pretty much overlooked and under-promoted) as were (the obvious aside) early REM and the Who. If Tucker singing The Who tickles your fancy you might want to ask the kind people of Quasi nicely if they have a copy of their NYE Who party DVD left, but this on a side note. I had no real expectations for this album, I threw them all aside, but it really amazed me. Now here's an album that shot right into my list of the best albums for 2010. Tucker might be a dedicated mother and doesn't scream out her frustrations, she's a damn good musician and songwriter. This goes right into my favourite alt rock albums shelf next to Pavement, Modest Mouse, the Minders and yes Sleater-Kinney. And so it should be.