I think life sometimes gives us small hints. It's up to us to recognize them. I might just have.
Today was the day I started questioning whether I'm really that lucky to have a steady job that isn't really terrible, funny colleagues, rock music blasting all day long and the freedom to wear whatever I want. It pays well too. Then there is this friend who went from a good paying but boring job to a none-paying job but that job is taking care of horses and that's something she's passionate about. There's this other friend who couldn't find a job so she started her own translating business, which she loves and while she just started, it looks very promising already. My sister can't find a job either which allows her to look across the border and writing the book she always wanted.
I get up at 06:45, go to work, go home, make dinner, watch Top Chef, do some internet business and go to bed. Five days a week. Sure, I own my own flat and everything. But, as I questioned today, wouldn't it be fun to do something I'm actually passionate about?
Just as I was in that mood I got in a little arguement with my boss. We're three people in the office, I don't see him as my boss, but I suppose technically he is. I'm sure he makes loads more money than I do anyway. The arguement was about work. He thinks we should chase the things we need to do harder, I say, without being laid back (as he claims we are), we're running hard enough. Long story short, he believes we really should have our things done and ready and collected before 11am. Now, we were too late. He had a point. This arguement that we're too late with our things now, took place at 10:25am. This time announcement is the last thing I said to him.
I'm working at the same place for almost 4 years. Worse, I haven't changed jobs ever since I live in Amsterdam. I've changed jobs more often than I moved house. I moved about 8 times in my life. I've never been a steady person. I thought I found my place and I still believe that's true, I wouldn't want to move house. But a different job, something I'm passionate about...
Last Saturday at the Kaizers Orchestra show I tapped a photographer on his shoulder. I've seen him more often at shows so I asked for who he was taking pictures. Not only did we end up talking about great, smaller bands and what a pity it is bands change once they get HMH-big (like Kaiser Chiefs, they just weren't fun shooting anymore because they lost their spark in a big venue, aren't I saying that for years myself?), I recommended to him to shoot pictures of The Boxer Rebellion which he would as he liked the band and we started talking about the Cribs and how they'll never get their break-through in the Netherlands and why that is and why perhaps it's best that way. I alsi asked him how he got this job. He just started it and loved it. I don't know if he has a job on the side but right now, I'm quite jealous of him.
I'm not complaining about my job. It pays for the things that I do, for the roof over my head and makes sure I don't have to eat rice with butter every day (for instance). It makes sure I can go to gigs, make weekend trips to England, buy records, buy cameras, films and develop them as well, it feeds the pets. Guess I do miss some kind of spark. But is it worth losing security for?